Saturday, November 17, 2007

Recipe for tears

Perhaps I'm more hurt than even I realized. Finally, just a few moments ago, I let go and I cried my eyes out. I can't totally blame my explosion of emotion on that Mad Mex Big Azz Margarita or Al Green's For the Good Times immersing my car with sorrow as I sat in the parking lot but I'm sure the combination had a lot to do with me letting down my guard and facing what is truly in my heart. It's not that I miss him, it's just that I'm disappointed things ended the way they did. More so that the relationship took a turn for the worse a little over a year ago yet we did nothing collectively to turn it around. He, angry and comfortable. Me, unhappy and withdrawn. Both in denial. Two and a half years. Over just like that. And we don't speak. We won't ever speak again. It wasn't supposed to end this way.

5 comments:

octoberwildchild said...

you're going to make me cry... so for now just let it out, mourn so you can be free of it someday.

SCORPIOLOGIST said...

Oh I SO know how you feel. That is such a horrible feeling. Just cry, cuss, or whatever helps you feel better. It will soon be a thing of the past.

woo woo woo:-)

Unforgettable Moments said...

Yeah shakes, I knew something was wrong with my friend. I guess you didnt want to talk about it, its ok though. Cry,or try writing, it helps alot. Take some paper and get the writing a 4 page letter, address it and put it in your draw as if you may give it to him, but never will.

Scrilla said...

Damn. I'm so sorry you had to deal with this.

GL said...

Feeling you on this one lady… make sure you keep “letting go” and allowing the self-healing process to happen. Thanks for sharing the link to your thoughts! Looking forward to reading more.