New beginnings

I always wondered how I'd feel or what I'd say when this day came.

Today I spoke to my uncle for the first time in almost 8 years. From the day I was born everyone said he and I had a special bond. I was born on his high school graduation day. I went to his house every Sunday for dinner growing up. He gave me my first set of dishes. We talked regularly. We emailed almost daily. He was the one I went to when I had roommate drama, when I needed to vent about what my sister said, or what my parents did. I could go on and on but the point is that we were tight. But one day all that changed and the contact abruptly ended. I knew he was slowing distancing himself from others in the family but I was very confused when I got cut off too.

My understanding is that he fell into a deep depression. Even that I would learn to accept but in 2003 when my grandmother was diagnosed with a terminal illness I just assumed that he would come out of seclusion. A few months passed and no response. Emails, letters, more months...no response. Phone calls, drive bys, voice mails, more months...no response. My grandmother passed away years before my uncle decided to reach out to anyone in the family. Yes he was ill both mentally and physically but I could not look past my anger and resentment to be there for him. The more he started to come around and reach out to the family, the more I thought about my grandmother and the agony she endured and it made me even more angry. I prayed to God often asking for the ability to forgive, asking Him to rebuke that evil spirit of hate and resentment. Yet all this time I never had any contact with my uncle. Greetings were exchanged only through my mother. Until tonight...

I got a call from a number I didn't recognize, a person I definitely wasn't expecting. All of the anxiety and disappointment stewing within me during the years we were estranged had disappeared. I felt nothing other than the desire to listen. We laughed a little. We cried a bit but mostly he asked questions about my life. So we made plans to meet in 2 weeks.

My brother tells me to "not focus on yesterday...it's about right now & how tomorrow's going to be." I thank God for this blessing.