An Insomniac's Dream

friends, cats, to-do lists, sex, noises from outside, Zora Neale Hurston, deadlines, relationships, MONEY, redecorating, family, allergies, love, exercise, sadness, and doubt all webbed together in disarray stealing my mind away from a peaceful night's rest. As I shift over to lay on my back, I realize I am awake and this isn't a dream. My eye lids separate slowly in the dark and turn towards the alarm clock to read a glowing 12:06. ARGHHH it's after midnight...again!! I've been laying here for over an hour. Why is it so hard for me to fall asleep? Well, except for those nights I have a little wine with dinner or a Benadryl. The deep breathing technique isn't working tonight so I get up, light a few candles, and write. Writing nonsense basically just hoping this pen will laugh, scream, and cry out all the emotions and thoughts spinning out of control inside my head.

VA & Father's Day

Sorry fans, I've been a bit delinquent with the postings lately. You would think that taking the summer off from my MBA program would mean amble time to write and relax. But on the contrary, I've never been busier...

I just returned from yet another business trip but this time I felt disconnected from the universe. I didn't have Internet access during the day... no emails to friends, no IMs, and the biggest disappointment of them all - no blogging at work! I spent the week in Chantilly, VA and fortunately for me I was only 20 minutes from my friend's job. She had something planned for me every night which I truly appreciated. I kept thinking about that year I spent traveling back & forth to DC for work and had nothing to do. The majority of my time was spent working crazy hours in the office and eating dinner in the hotel alone. I really enjoyed myself this week though. Thanks friend!!

A belated Happy Father's Day... I spent some time with my dad on Sunday before driving to Virginia. I felt bad that I had to change our plans because of my last minute business trip but he understood and still appreciated the time we spent together. He kept saying he just wanted to see me and that was all. So we sat outside at the patio table in the backyard enjoying the warm weather. Later we drove to my grandmother's house to chill with her for a minute. When we got back to my parents house my brother & sister were in the kitchen at the table just like old times. We all sat around talking and reminiscing as well as laughing at the new stories my dad shared about retired life with mom and my brother's crazy stories which always end in him being chased by a dog! Those who think that I am fun-loving, caring, easy to talk to, and open-minded will fall in love with my dad. I look like him and share many of his traits and characteristics. I didn't get everything... I still can't tell a joke or narrate a great story the way he does but I'm blessed to also share his passion for knowledge and commitment to family. I've even been quoted as saying that he helped shape me into the woman that I am today. That's a very strong statement but if you know him, me, and the rest of the family then you already understand. I am very blessed to have him and I tell him every chance I get.

Good men should be honored; Good fathers should be praised.
-SJP

Does race matter?

On CNN this morning a journalist walked around New York City trying to get voter's reactions to Senator Obama's declared victory as the Democratic party presidential candidate.

History was made last night! I was on the phone with my dad most of the evening listening to the candidates and the political commentators. My dad was so proud of Senator Obama, as was I. My dad mentioned how excited his father would be too if he were still alive. My grandfather lived in the segregated south, Wilmington NC specifically, where for many years although Black Americans technically had the right to vote, unfair practices and laws such as the poll tax and literacy tests out right denied Black citizens their right. So yes, last night was a huge victory in Black History as well as a great moment in U.S. History. However, Senator Obama did not once claim this in his victory speech last night. And why would he? I ask again, does race matter?

Well according to the comments from a NYC subway commuter interviewed on CNN this morning I am inclined to say that there are far too many people that would answer Yes - they do not want a black man in office. The commuter stated that she was a Hillary Clinton supporter but if Barack was on the ballot in November she would vote for McCain. Seriously, McCain??? When asked why, this woman didn't point to any policies, beliefs, voting records, experience, or any other major issue affecting our country. This woman simply said, "I don't think America is ready for a black president." Hmmm. Interesting comment full of ignorance yet I'm sure thousands of other people in our society share this same opinion.

Race doesn't matter and it shouldn't play a role in this campaign. The better candidate should and will prevail. Senator Obama knows this and he is not making it the issue although everyone else is. My prayers go out to my fellow Americans - particularly those hiding behind their ignorance.

Never again

Why every time we hang out at that after-hours spot do I end up harmed?! I am really starting to live up to this nickname Penny
:(

So here are the top 5 reasons why I'm not drinking again (well drinking more than 2 martinis)...

5. Having the rams will get you hurt especially when you're only 5'1 and apparently attack yourself in your sleep.

4. My tolerance shuts down somewhere between 2 and 3 1/2 apple martinis.

3. Hangovers are not a good look including the one I had that lasted til this morning.

2. Bruises aren't cute; particularily the ones you don't remember getting.

and the #1 reason why I'm not ever drinking more than 2 martinis... I HAVE A DIVISION SIGN ON MY FACE!!!

Wake up & Work out

This song gets me hyped...the lyrics are hot! the funky beat is perfect for squats :)

To Maryland and Back

I live for good times with friends and this weekend perfectly captured the essence of friendship. The Sex in the City movie was a hit at the box office.. $56M and counting. I'm convinced that every woman in America went to see this movie. But why not? We all can relate to SITC. Regardless of what they go through - love, divorce, cancer, children, disagreements, careers, and distance - they put forth the effort to maintain their friendship. This weekend my best friend and I drove down to Maryland to visit our girlfriend. We had a great time just chilling and of course we went to see SITC! It was fabulous. All the style! All the drama! All the emotion! I want to see it again AND SOON! I just love how these characters represent the true meaning of friendship and why we all need girlfriends to love & support each other. I love my girlfriends so much!! And I love the Real Dudes just as much! LOL! When we got back from MD my friend and I frantically changed clothes and rushed over to Henney's birthday party (that's what I call him and I doubt I need to explain that name). Glasses of Hennessy all over the place but of course us classy chicas sipped on Martinis. I almost got groped by a drunken and under-dressed Mexican and I went to bed just as the birds started singing their morning songs but nonetheless we had fun.

Now back to the point I was trying to make about friendship...Someone made a remark in jest about us being the old squad as if we had been replaced. The thing is although I know it is very easy for this to happen, I truly believe that if both parties want the relationship to continue it will. Friendship is work! Just like a relationship but why don't people remember that?? You have to make an effort to call, to keep in touch, and to hang out as often as possible. The friendship will die otherwise... As I was in the middle of writing this blog I got a phone call from a friend. I shared my thoughts on friendship with her and she agreed. She went on to say that when all the girls are together we are ALL friends but too often we fall right back into being "Shakes' friend" or "D's friend" for example, and keeping in touch solely through other girlfriends. I know I've only been apart of the core group for 6 years now but 6 years is a long time. My goal now is to work on erasing many of those lines that sometime get in the way of developing and maintaining a true friendship.

Love Ya!